A good relationship is life changing. When I met Colin it changed the way I saw life. It was the first time I was every able to be completely transparent with someone. Some people claim they like to have a "mystery" element to their relationship, but for me? I want to know what to expect. But past that, Colin was the first person I ever met that wasn't phased when I said something shocking/different. Our dinner table discussions are all over the place: medicine (gory stuff included), current events, social taboos or what I'm watching on reality TV. I absolutely love him for that.
He was also the person that convinced me I didn't need to get out of the shower and slam makeup on my face before I would even exit the bathroom. He told me he thought I was cute in sweatpants or a fancy dress. He convinced me sleeping in an extra thirty minutes was way better than getting up to straighten my wild curly hair. He allowed me to see food as something that wasn't to be feared and avoided, but enjoyed.
A lot of good things came from our relationship. But it also had some backlash. I gained ~10 pounds for every year we were together. I was relieved when he agreed with me that the extra hour of sleep was way better than doing my makeup/hair. I settled for a hoodie and jeans instead of picking out an outfit everyday, because it was easy because it required so little effort.
Don't get me wrong, I love indulging in some of those habits. But I embraced them maybe a little too much. When I my weight gain peaked, I didn't have any desire to try to like myself/my body. I hated the way I looked in clothes, and I had even less of a desire to get dressed up or do things that made me feel good about myself.
I've come a long way since my weight peaked at 187 two years ago. I've changed a lot about my life, but I always feel like I have more room to evolve. And 2013 is the year I want to focus on embracing myself more. This is going to mean incorporating some of those things back into my life on some level.
It will mean some more of these things:
(left) skirts, jewelry, and trying out new hair/makeup.
(right) i'm still too broke to go to a spa, but i can indulge in some Lush masks.
and it will mean reserving sweatpants and hoodies for evenings at home and laundry day.
So here's to 2013! What are you all working on this year?